Farewell Poem - This is the End

"I really thank you for hearing what I had to say. The day I wrote this I started crying, but I really want to start all this over today. Well, I wrote you a poem that is wonderful."





How could they expel a kid like this and keep all the annoying ones?! I mean, I love them all, but some of them test my limits. You know those adults you can't stand? Yeah, they weren't any cuter when they were 12.

But this girl... THIS GIRL is very special to me. Her dad just died and someone said to her, "your daddy shot himself because you don't know how to read." But did that kid get expelled? Now, I don't know if her dad actually killed himself or if he was shot, but she said it was a gun.

Here's her poem and it is wonderful.

"Tears falling from my eyes,
as the sun rise,
[teacher] is smarter than a bell
Hello Kitty is her type
but she also likes to write
2+2 is 4 
as I shut the door
this is the end."

Doin' Stuff in Juvi

I swear, I walked in and this was happening. Boy was just silently marveling at a globe. This picture looks so staged. I did ask him if I could take his picture, but when I pulled out my phone I thought it was interesting how he chose to "pose" like this... how he was when I walked in.

Well, then we got to talking. We were in a classroom on the third floor. He was so pensive and unaffected by my presence and his eyes just kept shifting from the globe in his hands to gazing out the window. Below is a very condensed version of the conversation we had. Note: this young man had just been "released" from "juvi." Juvinile Hall. Jail for kids.

Me: "What are you looking at?"
Student: "I just like being high and looking out." (He meant literally high, not marijuana-high.)
Me: "Oh."
Student: "I never been up so high until they ["juvi"] had me workin' the old folks' home... I was up on the seventh floor... and I would just be starin' and starin' ...and gettin' in trouble because I just wasn't used to bein' up so high and lookin' out so I would be lookin' out da window instead a workin'. I just liked lookin' out."
Me: "Oh...yeah..."
Student: "What do you think they growin' down there?" (He pointed to the school's garden beds three stories below.)
Me: "Looks like corn or something tall. I'm not sure... what do you think?"
Student: "Could be corn. I see some squash too."
Me: "You grow squash?"
Student: "Yeah, that's another thing they had us do. They had us growin' food for us and for other people."
Me: "Wow... That's really great..."
Student: "Thaz why I didn't mind bein' there. We got to do stuff. Now I'm out and people just do nothin'."

There are many days when I say to myself "just make it to the car... just make it to the car..." and then the door shuts and I burst into tears. After that day I cried longer than I had... maybe ever. And I called my mom and thanked her because I was probably under the age of 5 when I was in some sort of hotel glass-elevator and having the experience that this nearly 15-year-old had while living in a juvenile detention center. My whole life I've "gotten to do stuff."

That day made a mark on my life and will forever change how I exist as a teacher. I can't be sure of where my students come from, what they have or what they have not experienced. Technically, my job is to teach Math. But since that day, I do everything in my power to make sure my students "get to do stuff."


P.S. Is there a #latergram for blogs? I guess you'd call this a #laterblog since this all happened within my first month of teaching and it's now February. Although, I think I cry more now than I did that first month. My students, I now refer to as "my kids." I don't know when I made the switch, but the other day someone said to me "OH, I thought you actually had kids." It's confuses people.

Fashion Tips From Ghetto Tweens + Marc Jacobs

Oops! Sorry, I can't say "ghetto" anymore? Also, "pissed" is a bad word too, apparently. But you get the point. They live in the ghetto and these are their comments on my fashion...

"[You need] more gold, more sculls... more goin' on in general."
"We need to get you into the swaaag gaaame."
"Those are some fancy pajamas you got on."
"Another nightgown?"
"Yo, where's your broom stick?"
"You took casual Friday too far."
"Rough night?"
"You know... with a few more accessories, you look like you could be teachin' at Hogwarts."

(I took that last one as a compliment, for sure!!!)

Interesting thing happened... My boyfriend got me a really nice Marc Jacobs watch and I was hesitant to wear it to work, because I guess I felt like it was possibly too flashy and 90-something percent of my students live below the poverty line. The school uniforms are government provided and even on "free dress" days some students still wear the uniform. And I really hope it's because they just don't care and not because they don't have other clothes. Whelp, I'm gonna start crying let's get back to the point of the story.

So I wore the watch to work and they NOTICED and boy did they COMMENT.

"DAAANG!!!"
"Mmmm that's niiice!!"
"I'm glad he finally buyin' you stuff."
"WOOOOOO!!!!"

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

The point is, they were happy for me! It's like they were offended before... that since I have money, why wouldn't I dress like it? It reminded me of a conversation I had in college with one of my friends who is gay. I said to him, "I'm not getting married until it's legal for gay people too." My friend was offended by this. He pointed out that as a "straight person" it is wrong for me to not take advantage of a right that I am fortunate to have.

Okay, maybe that was a weird connection. Please don't misinterpret. Believe me, I have bought kids' shoes, paid their heat, and I budget for pencils since Lord knows they NEVER have a pencil and claim "but I just had it!" every damn day.

On the flip side, there's something to be said for self-preservation. For me, that means a gym membership, vodka tonics, and hitting up the occasional sale at J. Crew (teachers get 20% off! Even sale items!) And I always know what time it is and I always look at least a little pretty because of my Marc Jacobs watch!!!!!